Unleash the Power of your Self-Talk

We all talk to ourselves…even those who don’t admit it!
 
It’s that little (and sometimes not so little!) chatterbox that is going on and on in the back of our head.  It tells us over and over again what we should or should not be doing, how to do it, when to do it and why!  Sometimes we refer to this as ‘thinking’, but sometimes just never stops!
 
But have you ever thought about the power that this ‘little’ voice has over you?
 
Our minds are potent creators, blurring the line between real experiences and vivid, repeated imaginations. Recognising this, understanding that our behaviours hinge on this power of imagined experiences, forms the crux of comprehending human behaviour in the modern context.

In other words… our self-talk creates a significant part of our reality!  Let's look at this in more detail...

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Let’s diverge for a moment and talk about Denis Waitley, a renowned motivational speaker, author, and consultant, who has made significant contributions to the field of personal development and self-improvement. With a background in psychology and a strong focus on the power of human potential, Waitley's teachings revolve around unlocking one's capabilities, achieving success, and cultivating a positive mindset. Through his books, lectures, and programs, he emphasises the importance of self-awareness, goal setting, and maintaining a constructive inner dialogue. Waitley's work resonates with individuals seeking to enhance their performance, productivity, and overall well-being, making him a respected figure in the realm of motivational psychology and success coaching.

In one of his books, ‘The Seeds of Greatness’, Denis Waitley expounds on the idea that every individual possesses the potential for greatness within them, something like seeds in the ground waiting to sprout. He emphasises the importance of nurturing these seeds through positive attitudes, goal setting, motivation, and perseverance.

 Waitley suggests that by cultivating the right mindset, setting clear objectives, and persistently working towards them, individuals can unlock their inherent greatness and achieve extraordinary success in various aspects of life.

Back to our self-talk:

Remember that every day, we all unconsciously and sometimes even consciously, engage in self-talk.  We can define this as a continuous dialogue with ourselves, usually made up of subtle, fleeting remarks we make about our actions or situations:
 
Drop a glass? “jeez I’m clumsy!” we put ourselves down.
Struggle with technology? "I'm hopeless at this," we admit to ourselves… or to everyone around us!
Wake up feeling stiff? "I hate getting older," we moan.
Make a mistake? “I’m so useless" we give up.
Having a bad day?  “F*** my life!” (I’ve heard so many people use this phrase!)
 
This seemingly innocuous self-talk, as Denis Waitley highlighted, shapes our reality. Our unconscious mind, similar to a receptive computer, absorbs this programming incessantly, trusting everything we put into (say) our mind.
  

In essence, and this is vital to remember…
our unconscious mind doesn't discern – it’s the computer I just mentioned… it is like an open receiver, absorbing all the information and messages we expose to it whether these are from our experiences, what we say to ourselves (self-talk), or what we hear from others.
 
Our unconscious mind trusts what we feed it.  It doesn't critically analyse or discern the validity of these inputs. It takes them as truth and acts accordingly.

 Understanding this fundamental process is incredibly empowering.
 
It means that by consciously controlling and directing what we say to ourselves (our self-talk), we have the ability to shape our unconscious mind's beliefs and actions. This is where the power lies: by adjusting the story or narrative we create within ourselves, we can profoundly influence our attitudes, behaviours, and ultimately, our achievements in life. It's like being able to steer the ship of our life by managing the stories we tell ourselves.
 
Let’s have a brief look at how we can choose positive responses, ones that program our mind for higher achievements rather than lowering our expectations:
 
Drop a glass? "Everyone has these moments. I'll clean it up and be more careful next time".
Struggle with technology? "I'm learning how to manage this. I'll get better with practice".
Wake up feeling stiff? "I'll do some stretches and take care of my body, age is just a number".
Make a mistake? "Mistakes happen, I'll learn from this and do better next time".
Having a challenging day? "Today is tough, but I'll get through it, and tomorrow is a new opportunity".
 
The result?
Over time, you will create a nurturing environment within yourself, fostering improved mental and physical health, an enhanced skill set, and a strong foundation for accomplishing our aspirations.
 
Self-talk is going to be a lifelong companion whether you like it or not. 
 
But it provides us with the choice to utilise it as a catalyst for success, shaping a reality where our aspirations transform into achievements.

What's your choice?
 
Steve Jobson
Principal Psychologist
inSync for life Psychology