'Smart' items...not so smart children?

If you’re a parent or caregiver of a young child, you’ve probably found yourself in a challenging situation when your child is on the verge of a tantrum!  As a parent, I certainly know this well!

However, these days, so many parents seem to rely on ‘smart gadgets’ – a smartphone or tablet as a solution.  As many would be aware, this is not a good idea as research has now found that it can hinder the child’s emotional development.

Experts have cautioned that relying on digital devices to pacify children prevents them from learning to regulate their emotions effectively.
A University revealed that children whose parents frequently used digital devices to calm them exhibited poorer anger and frustration management skills over time. The study involved parents of 3½-year-old children, with follow-up questionnaires completed a year later, highlighting the long-term negative impact of this practice.

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Dr. Veronika Konok, the study’s lead author, emphasised that children need to learn to manage their negative emotions independently, with the guidance and support of their parents, rather than relying on digital distractions. The research, published in the journal Frontiers in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, revealed that using digital devices as a pacifying tool can exacerbate emotion regulation issues, particularly anger management problems, later in life. Children require parental support to manage and understand their emotions, rather than turning to technology for quick fixes.

The study also found that children with poorer initial anger management skills were more likely to be given digital devices by their parents. Dr. Konok noted that while it is understandable for parents to use digital emotion regulation strategies when their child struggles with emotions, this approach can aggravate the underlying issues. Instead of avoiding situations that might frustrate the child, parents are encouraged to help their children work through difficulties, recognize their emotions, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Moreover, the frequent use of digital devices to manage children's emotions can instill a preference for immediate gratification and quick fixes later in life.  If children are consistently soothed by a tablet or smartphone, they may come to expect instant solutions to their problems, rather than learning to manage challenges and develop resilience. This reliance on technology for emotional regulation can hinder their ability to handle stress and delay gratification, which are crucial skills for personal and professional success as they grow older.

Additionally, a separate study from the University of Texas highlighted another downside of parents' smartphone use. It found that parents who spent significant time on their phones spoke to their children up to 26 per cent less, potentially reducing language development. Through various methods, the study linked phone use to a decrease in the number of words spoken per minute by parents to their children. These findings highlight the importance of engaging with children directly to support their emotional and language development.

The take-away message?
Using digital devices to pacify children can hinder their emotional development and foster a reliance on quick fixes. As an alternative, and while it may take time and energy, I encourage you to resist the urge to immediately resort to digital device ‘soothers’, and instead, guide your children through emotional challenges to build resilience and self-regulation skills.

Steve Jobson