Creating Shared Meaning

Create shared meaning means developing a common understanding and alignment of beliefs, values, and goals within a relationship.  

The phrase originated from Dr John Gottman.  He introduced this concept as part of his research on relationships and marital stability, emphasizing its importance in building a strong and lasting connection between partners

Creating shared meaning in a relationship is crucial for building a strong, lasting connection. Shared meaning refers to the beliefs, values, and goals that a couple shares, which can provide a sense of purpose and direction for their lives together.
Dr. John Gottman, is a renowned psychologist and researcher known for his extensive work on marital stability and relationship analysis. His methods and theories are widely used in couples therapy.

Gottman suggests that creating shared meaning involves several important steps, including:

• Developing a shared understanding of your personal and shared goals, values, and beliefs.
• Building a culture of appreciation and respect in your relationship.
• Creating shared rituals and traditions that help reinforce your shared meaning and values. Finding ways to support each other's individual goals and passions, while also nurturing your shared vision for the future.
  

By creating more shared meaning in your relationship, you and your partner can build a deeper sense of connection and purpose, which can help sustain your relationship through challenging times. This can also help you feel more fulfilled and satisfied in your individual lives, as well as in your life together as a couple.

         Cultivating a Positive View of Your Partner
 
A positive view of your partner means that you focus on their positive qualities and strengths and give them the benefit of the doubt when things go wrong.

Gottman suggests that cultivating a positive view of your partner involves several important practices, including:

• Expressing appreciation and gratitude for your partner's positive qualities and actions.
• Avoiding criticism and contempt, and instead focusing on constructive feedback and respect.

• Looking for opportunities to support and encourage your partner's growth and development.
• Recognising that conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, and working together to find solutions that benefit both partners.

 
By cultivating a positive view of your partner, you can build a stronger emotional connection and increase your overall satisfaction in the relationship. You'll also be better equipped to navigate challenges and conflicts, since you'll be approaching them with a sense of mutual respect and positivity.

In contrast, when couples have a negative view of each other, they are more likely to get stuck in negative patterns of communication and behaviour, which can lead to feelings of anger, resentment, and disconnection over time.

Enhancing Conflict Resolution
 
A goal to enhance conflict resolution can involve learning how to resolve disagreements in a constructive manner, developing the ability to compromise, and building a toolkit of strategies for resolving conflicts in a healthy and positive way.

By cultivating a positive view of your partner, you can build a stronger emotional connection and increase your overall satisfaction in the relationship. You'll also be better equipped to navigate challenges and conflicts, since you'll be approaching them with a sense of mutual respect and positivity.
 
In contrast, when couples have a negative view of each other, they are more likely to get stuck in negative patterns of communication and behaviour, which can lead to feelings of anger, resentment, and disconnection over time.

By following these principles, couples can work towards a healthier and more fulfilling relationship, marked by mutual respect, shared meaning, and effective conflict resolution.